Archive for May, 2012

Death, Marriage, Birthday…and more Death.

May 1, 2012

I feel that I should start writing again. The thought that I should write again have been lingering for a while but previously I just couldn’t bring myself to write simply because I am too occupied with my daily routines – a lame excuse for not saying I am just too lazy to write.

On January 14th this year, someone I know at work passed away tragically. He was riding on his motorbike on his way home after playing futsal when a car or lorry knocked him down. His head was crushed, and his brain splattered. He died on the spot. On the internet, I saw a picture of a policeman scoping what seems like his brain matter from the road. It is really a weird feeling when you see something like this on TV or the Internet, when that person is someone who you know in your life.

I don’t have the guts to call him a friend because I barely know him to say that we are at the friend level relationships. We talked several times before at the office. Made stupid jokes. Went out for lunch together a couple of times. But that’s about it. I don’t even exactly know where he is from, his last employer, how many kids he has, etc. All I can relate him by until today is packets of Ice Milo. Reason being he’s responsible to take care of the beverages at our office. And one day I made a request to him to provide Ice Milo to the staff, and from that day onwards we have unlimited stocks of Ice Milo in the fridge.

But he is gone now. And gone too are the free Ice Milo. Now, we have Ribena instead. I am OK with my Ribena but I love my Ice Milo. Damn, I miss my Ice Milo….

On February 23rd, a friend of mine lost his 6 years old son to a rare cancer of the blood. Just 3 weeks before, he was a healthy, cheerful bundle of joy to their family. Just like any other 6 years old. Unfortunately, he caught the common flu then pneumonia, was hospitalized and doctors only knew exactly what’s wrong him after more than a week in the hospital – after they took samples of his bone marrow tissues.

I knew about his sickness when he was already hospitalized for about 3 weeks through a mutual friend of ours. The next day, I took the time from my daily schedule and visit him at the hospital. His father, a friend of mine for the last 7 years was there. The boy was really sick. You can see right there in front of you – 6 years old, lying in bed motionless, tears running through his cheeks, surviving a bone marrow examination and multiple sessions of chemotherapy. It is indeed a sad sight. I can barely control my emotion, but persevere putting on a brave face and says my condolences and sympathy to the father.

Less than a week after my visit, the boy passed away. I went to the funeral, met a lot of mutual friends of ours, and reflected much that our life here is so fragile. With a blink of an eye, you can be dead already. There is no stopping death if your time is up. There is no place to hide. If it’s your time to die, die you will be. Simple as that.

The most crushing part for me is when I saw the father carrying the boy into the surau for the final prayer. The boy is so small in his father hands. The father placed the body gently on the carpet, with no emotion at all on his face. No more tears. No more sadness. Simply being numb. I wonder what’s going through his mind at the moment.

My regret is that I did not make the second visit at the hospital when I had that chance. I was planning to visit again but thought it’s ok…probably another day then I’ll go…then waited some more….then it’s too late already. The next time I saw the boy, he was already wrapped in white cloth for the burial.

Sometimes you waited too long for something to happened, and it never did happened. Sometimes, things just happened without waiting for you. That’s life.

On March 10th, my youngest sister got married. The last in our siblings to get married except of course my one and only brother. I am happy for her. I am happy for mama. At least one thing less to be worried for mama. It was a normal wedding celebration, nothing grand in nature and I believed everyone enjoyed it much. If they don’t, there is nothing much you can do about it anyway.

I wish her and her husband all the best in their life. There are much to be learned, much to be patience about, much to dream and work hard for, there will always be trials and tribulations, mistakes and regrets, unwinding roads of madness and confusion, and beware of people’s lies and deceit.….but if you take care of your Iman and believe in your love,….and strive hard for the betterment of both Iman and love…..both of you will be fine, insya-Allah.

Nothing much happened in April. Or so it seems to me. Daily tasks, weekly schedules, quiet weekends, assignments, exams, more exams, a little bit of quarrels here and there, much laughers and joy….all the usual stuff.

We are in May now. Mother celebrated her 84th birthday today. This is actually not her actual birthdate. But as far as I can remember, we always celebrated her birthday on the 1st of May. It was my late father’s suggestion to celebrate her birthday on Worker’s Day, probably as a gesture of honor for her being the ever loyal wife and homemaker – someone who work at the home front on every single day of the year except on the 1st May. Deep inside of me, I always have this fear that the 1st May that year might be the last 1st May celebration. I know sooner than later, the time will come…

Also on this day, we received news that one of my uncle passed away in Mecca. He was a good man. I think he tried his best in his life, his career and well-being of his family. But although you tried your best, things might not turned out the way that you wanted it to be. That is sometimes the harsh reality of life. I am not particularly close to him, but I was always being fond to him since many years ago. I respect him much, he was always a joy to talk to, always wise to give out his views on almost anything particularly the politics of the country, and witty enough to come out with spontaneous one liners that crack up the conversations. May he rest in peace, and indeed he is fortunate enough to be buried in Mecca.

For the rest of us who is still living, it’s another day…another year….on the same destination.